MEET TEAM Tope

PTSD Service Dog Tope is reigniting hope in her client. 

My name is Payge. My PADS service dog’s name is Tope. I once worked as a paramedic for BC Ambulance. I loved helping people in their darkest hours, and I loved being able to make a positive difference in the world. I was happy in life while moving forward in my career. I was planning my wedding and working with my best friend.

That all came crashing down with a row of bad calls. After a horrible call, I had to take some time off. A day turned into a week, and a week turned into months. I was diagnosed with CPTSD due to my constant exposure to trauma and tragedy. Being placed on long-term disability was a hard thing to accept, as I hated to sit around. I was scared of the outside world and the people in it. I distanced myself and isolated. I wanted to run into a cave and disappear forever. There were lots of dark days.

Over the past year, I have been trying various things to improve. Treatment-wise, I had tried everything from EMDR and traditional medicine to homeopathic medicine. Nothing was working! I was seeing Angela, my occupational therapist, every week. One day, she suggested that I apply for a service dog with PADS. I had a sense of hope for the first time in months. Through the application process, I began regular contact with Margaret, the PADS PTSD Program Manager, who introduced me to PADS Trainer Jade.


Jade was Topes’ trainer. While talking with Jade, I noticed her overwhelming empathy and kindness. Her altruism gave me hope in humanity when I had none. Tope was starting training, and it would be weeks to months before she would be officially matched to me. In those months, I continued to work on pushing myself to return to a “normal life.” Jade would join Angela and me on field trips to various places. 

I had met Tope a few times briefly at this point. The first time I realized what a PADS dog could do in my life was when we were at the Poirier recreational center in Coquitlam for an exposure session (aka field trip). I was struggling and fearful for my life as the presence of people in an unknown public area was triggering. I began to feel so overwhelmed, watchful and felt like running out of the building and never coming back. The life of a recluse living in a cave sounded like heaven to me. My OT attempted to help me ground and do breathing exercises with me. Jade kindly offered to have Tope sit with me with deep pressure – a ‘my lap’. I was hesitant at first, but what do I have to lose at this point, so let’s try it. I sat on the ground, and Jade guided Tope onto my lap. Paralyzed with fear, the urge to run was overwhelming, so I just sat there. I began to pet her, and I noticed our breathing started to sync together. I could feel my nervous system start to regulate. Could this be? Could this be working?
PADS PTSD Service Dog Tope with her client, Payge
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Once the crippling anxiety had passed, and I no longer felt reality coming back, I began to feel something unfamiliar. I felt hopeful for the first time in years. My chest felt weightless and warm, and I sobbed. I cried years’ worth of tears. I sat and cried because I finally felt like there was something to look forward to. I started to dream of the future. I could picture us, paw in hand, facing all of my fears, one step at a time. I could see the possibility. I could see a future. I could see myself crawling out of my impenetrable fortress that I had built up over the years. I could see myself leaving my cave. I was genuinely hopeful for the first time in a long time.

In the next few months, Jade demonstrated how Tope could help me ground myself and could help interrupt anxious behaviours. Jade would take time out of her busy schedule, twice a week, to sit with me patiently for an hour. I never felt a sense of being rushed after the hour had passed, as our meetings often dragged on longer than planned. 

PTSD makes you cynical about everything positive. How on earth could a dog fix what every expert I had seen failed to help, but I knew that was my PTSD brain talking. I had a brief glimpse of what life could be. I held onto the feeling of the memory of the recreation center.  

One day, I got a phone call from Margaret. My heart beat fast, and my mind was racing. I was scared that something was wrong. When I heard the news that Tope was officially my match, I burst into tears. I could finally see a future for myself that wasn’t being a recluse in a cave. I could finally regain some of the freedom that was stolen from me.

A week later, Tope walked into my house with her gorgeous smile and immediately began to lick my face. She was wagging her tail in circles, and I immediately felt something strange in my chest. What was that feeling? Safety, love, hope, caring, a glimpse of light in a dark place?

Fast forward to today, July 3rd, 2025, Tope and I finally finished team training. Since Tope‘s arrival, I have been able to accomplish things that I would have never imagined possible before her. My husband is finally able to have some alone time, and I have a newfound independence. A thirst for adventure has taken hold. I can go outside my house into crowded stores without fear. I can start to rebuild an everyday life for myself and my husband.

Thank you to Tope‘s excellent sitter, Una, for keeping a consistent structure with Tope so she doesn’t lose her training, giving me peace of mind when away from her. Thank you to Tope‘s puppy raisers and other sitters who I haven’t met yet.  Thank you to the breeder caretakers and volunteers behind the scenes.  Thank you to the Board of Directors, the staff and to all the donors and sponsors. Thank you to Angela, my occupational therapist, who has been by my side throughout this journey. Thank you, Jade, for introducing me to Tope and for implementing mandatory breaks in training; I would never have been able to ask for them otherwise. Thank you, Margaret, for guiding me through this process and helping with all the online training and administrative tasks. Thank you, PADS, for giving me a second chance at life.

I look forward to life for the first time in years, and I feel braver than ever with Tope by my side. I am not healed yet, but this feels like a good start to me 🙂

 

– Payge Breault Da Silva